Autism support has come a long way. But as our understanding of neurodiversity grows,so does the call to rethink some long-standing practices. At the heart of this shift is a movement away from compliance-based approaches like Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), and toward something more collaborative, respectful, and empowering: neuroaffirmative care.
Let’s explore the difference.
What is ABA?
ABA, or Applied Behavior Analysis, has been the most widely used therapy for autism for decades. Rooted in behaviorist principles, ABA breaks down skills into small tasks and uses rewards (and sometimes consequences) to shape behavior.
Its goal? Often, to reduce “challenging” behaviors and increase “appropriate” ones—like
making eye contact or sitting still.
But here’s the catch: many autistic adults who received ABA as children describe feeling pressured to mask their true selves. For some, ABA was experienced as a series of lessons in how to act more “normal”—not how to feel safe, heard, or understood.
What is Neuroaffirmative Care?
Neuroaffirmative care comes from a very different place. It begins with this belief: Autism is not a problem to be fixed. It’s a way of being to be understood.
Instead of trying to make a child look “normal,” neuroaffirmative approaches aim to:
- Understand the purpose behind a behavior
- Respect communication in all its forms (not just spoken language)
- Support regulation, autonomy, and self-advocacy
- Create environments where the child feels safe, seen, and accepted
This doesn’t mean “do nothing.” It means we shift from control to connection, from modifying behavior to supporting the person.
A Quick Comparison
Why it Matters?
When children are taught to comply before they are taught to understand themselves, they often learn one thing above all: Who I am is not okay.
Masking—suppressing autistic traits to appear “normal”—has been linked to anxiety, depression, burnout, and a loss of identity. On the other hand, when we approach care from a place of affirmation, we support not just skills, but self-worth.
This doesn’t mean abandoning structure or support. It means shifting our lens: From fixing behavior → to understanding communication.
From getting children to fit in → to making the world fit around them
For Families and Professionals: A Loving Invitation
If you’re a caregiver or clinician, know this: your intentions matter, and so does your openness to grow.
Ask yourself:
- Is this approach helping the child feel more connected to themselves and others?
- Are we celebrating their unique ways of being—or trying to erase them?
- Are we making room for autonomy, consent, and joy?
In Closing
We don’t need to vilify anyone to evolve. ABA was created in a different time, with different understandings. Now, we know more. We can do better—not because we failed, but because we’re learning.
Let’s move from compliance to connection.
From silence to self-expression.
From “fixing” to affirming.
Because every child deserves support that sees their light—not just their labels.
Sehaj’s Note
At Sehaj, we believe every individual deserves to be seen, heard, and supported as they are—not as the world expects them to be.
We stand with the growing movement toward neuroaffirmative care—an approach that centers dignity, autonomy, and deep respect for neurodivergent ways of being. Our focus isn’t on changing children to fit into rigid molds, but on co-creating spaces where they can flourish, express themselves authentically, and feel safe in their own skin.